Editor in Chief – Jean Kirby
Chief Editor – Dot Lampe
Editorial Policy: War is Hell!
HI GANG:
We’re a success!! To wit: “What a job you have done. It was tremendous. Sullivan, Winchell, Hopper and those other second rate keyhole guys and gals look miserable compared to your September issue. Congratulations!” Thanks Bernie, for them kind remarks. (You boys can also thank him for the stamp on your envelope.)
Your modest, retiring editors just have to blow their own horn again. More fan mail – Hot dispatch from Lt. Vorm : “That was an excellent paper. Congratulations! You’re doing a swell job and all of us are glad to get the ‘reporte’ on everyone else. I’ve shown it to the guys from all over the country and a lot of them have written their respective gangs, begging them to do likewise.”
And all the way from California, Mrs. William Schleicher (Andy to you) says: “ I can’t begin to tell you how much I loved receiving the GANG GOSSIPP. It was wonderful to be able to sit back and imagine Franz drinking warm wine in Sicily, Johnny wrestling with his barracks bag in Alaska, Bernie bouncing Susan on his knees and Hot and Babe back in the fold again.”
Just one more pat on our shoulders before we get down to real business of reporting to youse guys --- two of the Mothers, Mrs. Sutherland and Mrs. Bing, who are getting our round-robin copy, have called up to enthuse. They were so happy to be in on the know on the gang.
Before we start ‘giving with the dirt’, we want to acquaint you with our star reporters. The picture above shows how they keep the wires hot with the latest ‘Have you heards’. (In case you don’t think so much of our photography, reading from Left to right Dot Lampe, Eleanor Foster Seeman, Jean Kirby, Ginny Robertson, Margy Ireland, Helen Lambert, Sue Seres and Ruth Simpson – Something to come home to – eh boys?)
WE THOUGHT YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW THAT :
It’s probably old news to you all by now – but anyway the Yans beat the Cards in five games ( Your editors lost plenty of mazuma and scotches on that one) – Our baseball games even made the news from abroad – We’re borrowing this quote from the N.Y. Times – “Herr Goebbels summoned all the foreign correspondents in Berlin an invited their attention to the latest example of Anglo-Saxon hypocrisy. Only the other day, said Goebbels with just indignation, Pres. Roosevelt was pretending that the American Army is marching on Rome for the purpose of liberating the Vatican and Pope Pius from the Axis yoke. But the shameful truth is now out in the open, as all American papers proclaim, with brazen effrontery – Yankees beat Cardinals” ----
In spite of the universal appeal of the World Series, this year it really took a back seat --- We herewith quote – with chest thrown out and pride oozing from every pore --- the Mt. Vernon Daily Anguish ---Please note---
MOUNT VERNON SOLIDER STARRING IN BASEBALL (16 point type if you please)
“Corporal Theodore B. Kirby, Husband of Mrs. Jean E. Kirby 264 Tecumseh Avenue, has been playing center field for an Air Base Medics baseball team which has won all games played thus far this season. Kirby’s TERRIFIC hitting and BRILLIANT fielding has been one of the big reasons for the teams unbroken string of triumphs. He is at a South Pacific Island Air Base.” (Ed. Note – They don’t know him very well – do they) (Guess which Ed.?)
Wait till the members of the Church
League read that – Versnon Heights with
Double threat Kirby in there just can’t
Lose –Ted you deserve a just reward—
Will Suzanne do? (Jean censored this
It’s O.K.)
To the Victor, goes the spoils!
********
Rumor has it that there is a perfectly
Awful singer up at the Gramanta now –
Can’t hold a candle to Bonnie Jean and
Hal Hoffer – and the most important thinks they never even heard of Franz and Johnny’s song – We can just imagine the kind of songs our two composers will write when they get home again ----
We also have to get in a Winchell at this point ---What well known gang couples, dropped at what other well known couples house, where and when, and divulged what secret re a new arrival in January????? and what other couple will be giving odds that the stork reaches their place first ????? If that doesn’t out – Winchell Winchell – What does ?
WUXTRY * EXTRA * WUXTRY
We just have to show you all how Johnny made the First page of the New York World Telegram---to say nothing of this “creature” ----- Imagine – (Wait till Al sees that Miss Lampe) I’ll sue Arpad --- But anyway we were really quite excited and can’t wait to get Johnny’s reaction. I’m putting in a bid to be Johnny’s agent – at a straight 10% of course. This just wouldn’t carry the same punch if it were just copied on the typewriter, so we bough out a couple of newsstands and begged and borrowed the other copies from our friends ----Aren’t you all impressed!!!!!!!
FROM THE FIGHTING FRONTS
We always have a lot of trouble trying to decide how to start these various columns – Once we get started, there’s no stopping us – but shall we go alphabetically – by size – by rank or what ???? Now that takes care of that – we’re started so here goes ---------Got a post card from LT. WILLIAM REILLY – the luck of Irish is still following – here’s what Bill says – “Here we are in sunny California after a wonderful trip across the country at the Government’s expense. We have a little home about 15 miles from the camp and the worst part of it is I get home every night – get off on Saturdays at noon and have to be back at eight on Monday ---but I’m going to try and bear up” - Gee, it sure sounds swell, and we hope it lasts for a long time so that you, Ginny and Steve can be together --------- JERRY LARSEN is still out at Huntington but he now sports a solid gold band around is sleeve – it is now officially Ensign Larsen ---- of course BERNIE AUER is now one of our favorites after that wonderful fan letter he wrote your editors (see how to get on the good side of us) – last time we saw Bernie, we walked up to Radio City with him and were amazed to find out that he was headed for the Berlitz school of language --- Yup, Bernie is now studying French (What the Army doesn’t make those guys do) – He just can’t get away from the books - student Auer we calls him --- Haven’t any news at all about the other member of the Auer family out of Long Island except that he writes letters faithfully to Johnny (hint-hint)------- From his letter, we gather that IX VORM goes back and forth between Camp Hale and some kind of maneuvers – Last heard from, he was at camp and had just received a note from Esther Buonodono Fisher saying that Bob had left for the East from Ft. Logan and that Bill and Ginny Reilly had paid them a visit on their way out to the coast – good going, Ix, we might let you have a job as a cub reporter ------------CHET MACARTHUR was home on a ten day furlough and visited around to see most everyone ---your editors have all this on hearsay and are cultivating a pet peeve cause they didn’t even get a phone call ----we practically cross people off our list for less than that – come on now Chet – a bit of cooperation – (We ought to get a letter of atonement after that – don’t you think) Anyway, Fran and Wils told us that both Chet and Arlene were looking very well and were making the most of the furlough ----- NIPPY SUTHERLAND (Pardon us, Lt., but we just can’t resist the old nickname) is now down in Southern Florida. On October 2 he left Chicago and had only three days to make it to Florida – so the old home town didn’t get a break and see Nip and Muriel – we were very disappointed ---- Nip is going to some kind of school down there, we think its D.E. – and the course lasts three months – Com on now Muriel – while you’re basking in the sun on the beach – get out the paper and the pencil and write us a nice letter telling us all about it --------- Now for our favorite correspondent, JOHNNY REINERS - (my gosh, Johnny, you get on every page) – Although the censorship regulations don’t let Johnny tell us anything about what he’s doing – there is one thing he’s doing that doesn’t meet with our approval at all ---- In closing on of his letters he says : “ I should be in my sack getting my required sleep. My mustache is beginning to wilt and as lends such dignity to my years, I must away and let it recuperate. “ No, Johnny, no ---think how it tickles – Please – let it be gone when you come back to these parts again – They say War is hell, and we have always been laboring under that impression ourselves – However the most recent dispatches from is beginning to wilt and as lends such dignity to my years, I must away and let it recuperate. “ No, Johnny, no ---think how it tickles – Please – let it be gone when you come back to these parts again – They say War is hell, and we have always been laboring under that impression ourselves –
However the most recent dispatches from FRANZ BING make it sound like a veritable resort – an 8 room Apt. – 17 broiled lobsters – filet mignon and all the wine you can drink --- of course the apartment is shared by 15 boys and there’s no room for furniture except Army cots. The boys work on a cooperative bases and Franz special job is the salad course, which as he says, is well helped along by wine prior to, during preparation and after consumption – well into the night ----shades of the famous duck dinner at Roscher’s many long years ago ---Say, Franz – are you still singing Alouetta? If you get near Berlin you really ought to lick Hitler with that one ----------
The presses were just beginning to grind out the second edition fo this momentous little paper, when the front door opened and in walked LT. BOB LENT , home on a thirty day leave – the Army undoubtedly figures he needs plenty of rest to get into shape to tackle the tough job of teaching the would-be bombardiers at Big Springs, Texas ( Hey, Johnny, how about some addresses and telephone numbers for Bob – you must have had quite a following when you were down that way ) how to follow in his footsteps. Bob definitely agrees with the Army that it will be a much tougher assignment than all those raids he participated in over Europe and Africa ---------- WALT MACDONALD was home on a 7 day furlough proudly sporting Sargeants stripes – he is in command of a tank destroyer crew stationed out in the state of Washington. He’s still a member of the Bachelor’s Club altho there is a wee rumor floating about concerning some WAC he met in Detroit – she has red hair – no less – GIL HOERNER just flashed word home to the folks from his base in Oklahoma that he is now the possessor of a Warrant Officer’s rating. Congratulations Gil------- Latest news from DICK HOERNER has him at a P.O.E. on the East Coast waiting to cross the Big Pond ---poor Jane who had visions of leading an Army life with her handsome spouse is very much down in the dumps – We can certainly sympathize with you, Jane -------- Latest news on 1st Lt. HANK HANSON has him stationed somewhere in England with the Signal Corps --- keep your eyes peeled for Herb Durframe, Hank, As he is somewhere in the same neck of the woods --------- the CASH brothers may be seeing each other after a long space of “no see”. Warren, who is a Seaman First Class in the Coast Guard is working at Perth Amboy, N.J. and brother Pete ( First Class Private ) who has just arrived at Fort Dix after a long sorjourn in Yuma, Arizona ought to be able to get together -------- Still sticking to the “Baptist Mob”, Cpl. MEREDITH WHITE is somewhere in the northwest Pacific, working like a Trojan with the Transportation Corps ------ As for that paragon of men, ALFRED LAMPE – his letters come through beautifully now and I heard from every week or oftener ---I keep looking for something quotable in them but everything he says is much too wonderful to let any of you guys in on – so I guess I’ll keep them to myself – When I asked Jean from something from Teddy’s letters to her to use – she felt the same way – son in our QUOTE – UNQUOTE column we are using an excerpt from on of Ted’s letters to me – they aren’t at all personal ---- I guess that winds up the news from all you guys far, far away – If there is any of that we forgot let us know and we’ll try to cover them in the next issue – Don’t you guys take any wooden nickels or let anybody hold you up when you are getting souvenirs – We heard about the guy that lugged a huge mirror all around Sicily cause he wanted to take it home for his wife – and when he arrived at his destination in Sicily, he thought he’d hang it on the wall – He did, stepped back to admire the effect – and the wire broke ---- It broke in a million pieces – such is life -----
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QUOTE ----UNQUOTE
Ted Kirby - Somewhere in the So. Pacific---
“Another fellow any myself are writing a sort of play for the grand opening of some new hall they are completing here on base … The play is really a stinkeroo from way back. It is strictly from corn – but as our audience goes for slapstick and the broadest type of humor and trash, that is what we are going to feed the pigs. The person interested in producing this horror keeps us on the ball with free gifts of beer and gin ---however now and then he gets too generous and we are unable to write lacking motor control as the medics say. So much for the play if it could be called that ----
If possible I am going to take a three day pass in a few days and visit one of the planters with whom I have a speaking acquaintance. He is reported to have a large stock in of home brew and knows others with more potent liquors. His wife may be back tho and throw a wrench in the plans ---- At the present time I am recovering from a bad case of sunburn acquired on another island recently --- Mad dogs and Kirby go out in the midday sun -----"
Gilbert M. Graham overseas somewhere in the Pacific
“Played some three sets of tennis, followed by a cooling dip in a pool yesterday while on station liberty and somehow or other, managed to come out on the long end of the score, which more than amazed me after the lengthy layoff occasioned by our entrance into service. Am still capable of taking Kirby’s ---measure on the court, a fact which I hope to prove ere many months have passed…..Am currently in the midst of ‘boning’ on the course, questions and eccentricities of a SK 2/c rate and except to take the final exam sometime – next month…” (Ed. Note ---- he made it, too – Congrats Gilly)
FROM THE HOME FRONT
We always have some difficulty deciding whether to include Andy in the fighting or home front – so we’ll start this column with the WM. SCHLEISCHERS - We got a long letter from Andy (we’ll answer soon – promise) and everything seems to be running smoothly out in San Diego. According to Andy “living on the beach has hundreds of advantages such as swimming, beach parties, lolling in the sun on Sunday’s, etc.” --------- our bridge club is missing another member GINNY ROBERSTON is moving down to Norfork to be with Doug. We can’t blame her in the least, but will we miss her --- she has given notice to her employer and has sublet her apartment furnished -- so she’s all set to go --- she leaves the first of the month –It won’t be the same without our RED around – Gosh ------- While we’re on the subject of the home front wait til you hear the latest on the Roschers --- Dad spent his vacation at home and he and Mother decided to go out to Belmont for the day. Never having been before, Mother was amazed at the whole business and especially the friendly interest the hanger-ons took in newcomers ---One “horse-theif”, as Mother called him, took a special shine to Mother and gave her hot tips on all the races --- he was one of these small, striped pants, checked coast and loud tie affairs, who muttered out lfo one side of his mouth while he spat out the other ---At one point while Dad wad down placing the bets, this individual sidles up to Mother, nudged her and pointed to a horse parading in front of the grandstand - “See dat no. 10 – he’s going to win” - Mother, looking at the horse, could see nothing unusual about him so asked the little man “Why?” The reply – “Why lady, didn’t ya jist see him do his business right down there” Just about floored Mother ---the man went and brought two tickets to show on the horse and to Mother’s amazement the horse came in and paid $21.20 --- Mother admits blushingly, that all she looked at for the rest of the afternoon was the horses tails – When someone else told her she should watch the horses eyes to see if they were lively she parried, “What do you expect met o be – Walleyed? – I can’t watch both ends of the horse at once” (If anyone wants any tips on the horses --- Just call up Mother) -----HOT WELDON hobbled In on crutches to see us one night – sprained his ankle and had nasty after effects –we haven’t room for the gory details – but they sure were gory -- However last Sunday Hot, Baby and Jackie came over to call and there was no sign of a limp so Horace is whole again --- Incidentally Jackie is a blond from the summer sun and still as cute as they come—While we’re on the subject of babies, CAROLYN MEFFERT is back in town for good and she brought Bobbie over to call (Roscher’s is going to be the hangout for the younger generation too – All went well with the visit until I brought out a new picture of Al that he sent me from Down Under ---as I proudly displayed it, infant Bobbie made a lunge for it saying, Dada Dada ---Fine thing – I’m definitely taking Al to task for that (it’s a good thing he looks like you, Bud -) -----ELEANOR, CLIF AND BOBBIE SEEMAN are all well, healthy and happy. Clif works for Sperry and is now bowling twice a week - with darn good averages --- but Eleanor will undoubtedly put him to shame when we girls start bowling again. -------RUTH SIMPSON is still her same old self and we see her once a week either for bridge or bowling – She has been the lucky one though, cause due to gas rationing she can’t have us all up to Connecticut for her turn – she insists that she gets the bad end of the deal cause she stays overnight and always has to wash the dishes after the other gals go home-----See NANCY SUTHERLAND REYNOLDS quite often in New York and she’s a wonderful help on tips for our paper, gives us nothing about herself – According to Johnny – “ Another very interesting bit of local intelligence that broke through the curtain of distance was a letter from Nancy and Bill. Bill gave me a lucid description of a man being put into 4F and it really gave me quite a boot. The boy has definite talent along those lines and it was quite amusing” – Come on Bill, we now expect you to write something for us --- ---Bob Lent reported that he bumped into BILL PRIGGE one fine day on the streets of Washington. Bob is not the most informative of reporters (understatement) but from his account Bill looks and is fine --- and is definitely on the road to success – Traffic manager for the Amer. Airlines in Washington – something to do with priorities (anyway, that’s what we heard – Don’t sue) Next time you see me, will you guys please bow three times and say “Allah” – I have a side line now in addition to Standard Oil -- I am Treasurer of the American Incentive Division Co., Inc. – If that doesn’t’ sound impressive – what does? Of course its Mr. Youngs new company – but this time all will be different (I’ve heard that before) but being treasurer – what can I lose ------That’s all for this issue, boys ---Goodbye until the next one ----
*****We’re still haunting the Mail Man**********
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